Your self-care guide to sex toys
Ménage à moi
By Briar Clark
BEAUTYcrew Beauty Editor / February 08 2023
When it comes to self-care, nothing hits the spot quite like a post-orgasm rush of endorphins.
In the words of sex positivity pioneer Abbie Chatfield, “[masturbation] should just be a part of your self-care routine and part of taking care of yourself, really.”
And we have to agree. Taking ownership of your sexuality and personal pleasure is extremely important, especially as women. After all, for those who were raised to constantly appease and please others, it can be difficult to prioritise our own desires and needs.
This sentiment often extends to the bedroom, leaving our perception of our own sexual pleasure somewhat distorted, and tied up in the sexual fantasies of our partners.
But we’re here to assure you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking the time to satisfy yourself first. In fact, taking the time to practice intimacy with yourself is a sure-fire way to improve intimacy, connection and the potential for pleasure with your partner.
That’s why we’ve employed the help of sex and relationship expert Dr. Lurve to guide us through the wild and wonderful world of sex toys. To Dr Lurve, sex toys are “a great way to add a new and exciting experience to what happens between the sheets, whether you’re alone, with a lover or multiple sexual partners!”
“What’s important to understand is that the best sex toy for you might not be the best for someone else and vice versa,” explains the good doctor. “Much like our preferences for wine, our sex toy choices are based on personal likes and dislikes.”
And because you might not know what you like until you try it out (all the more reason to buy a sex toy advent calendar this year), Dr Lurve has helped us breakdown some of the best sex toys out there and who they’re best suited to.
So regardless of your proclivities, it’s time to get down with your bad self. Doctor’s orders.
The best sex toys for Valentine’s Day
There’s no better time to explore sexual intimacy than Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re loving on yourself or sharing your affections with a special someone, February 14th is the day to try something a bit different.
Plan a romantic date night that ends in mutual massage or try your hand at tying up your partner and teasing them. It’d be a shame to miss out on all the great deals leading up to the international day of love.
Lovehoney Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator ($79.95 at Love Honey); LELO Flickering Massage Candle ($49.50 at Look Fantastic); and Lovehoney Tie and Tease Pillow Present Bondage Kit ($54.95 at Love Honey).
The best sex toys for beginners
A sex toy virgin? Welcome friend.
According to Dr. Lurve, “if you’re a sex toy virgin and ready to pop your battery-operated cherry, it’s a good idea to think about what stimulates you in the bedroom when alone or with a partner. Using what you like to your advantage, you can then make an informed decision about what sex toys you want to start using.
She recommends starting slow with “a bullet vibrator that’s compact and easy to conceal (Emma Corrin never leaves the house without hers), or a finger vibrator you can slide onto the tip of your index finger for extra stimulation.”
The best sex toys for clitoral stimulation
Considering the clitoris is the only organ in the human body dedicated solely to pleasure, it’s a good place to start when shopping for vibrators.
“When looking for clitoral stimulation, it’s good to think about how intense you want the vibrations to go and how you want it to feel overall,” Dr Lurve advises. “There are so many varieties of clitoral vibrators out there from little bullets to rabbit ears, wands to suction, even ones that mimic tongue movements – it depends on what kind of feels you want down there!”
The best sex toys for G-spot stimulation
Ahhh the elusive G-spot. Yes it’s real. And yes, sex toys can help you find it.
“When it comes to the infamous G-spot, there are toys out there designed to hit the spot every time,” the doctor assures us. “With G-spot rabbit vibrators and G-spot and clitoral 2-in-1’s that will take you to the next level, and your sleek curved vibrators and dildos aiming for the elusive spot, there’s endless possibilities and multiple orgasms ahead.”
The best sex toys for anal stimulation
You bet anal orgasms are a thing. In fact, they can be even more intense than regular orgasms thanks to all the sensitive nerve endings.
“If you’re wanting to try anal stimulation, there are so many ways to get what you’re looking for when it comes to butt play,” says Dr Lurve, “From butt plugs to anal douches, remote vibrating plugs to real-life replica dildos, no matter what you’re after with anal, you’ll find pleasure isn’t too far away.”
The best sex toys for men
Reading this and have a penis? Don’t worry, we’ve got you too.
“The number of sex toys for men is growing each year, and there’s some great gadgets out there for people with a penis,” confirms Dr Lurve. “With realistic fleshlights and sex dolls, blow job suction and stroker toys, penis pumps, prostate massagers, vibrators and masturbators, reaching new heights in your sexual game isn’t just [reserved] for the ladies.”
Lovehoney High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager ($99.95 at Lovehoney); Fleshlight Flight Pilot Male Masturbator ($74.95 at Lovehoney); and Blowmotion Warming Vibrating Male Masturbator (was $119.95 now $71.97 at Lovehoney).
The best sex toys for partners
Rather play with a friend than by yourself? There’s plenty of sex toys that can satisfy both parties in the bedroom.
“When you’re looking to spice up your sex life with your partner and one of you has a penis, a cock ring is a great investment as it can be stimulating for the both of you,” the doctor suggests.
But what if you’re trying to promote connection? Well, according to Dr. Lurve, “putting on some lingerie is a nice way to transition into intimacy if you’re having trouble reconnecting to begin with.”
“You can also find love eggs and jiggle balls to be a fun way to each participate, with one of you inserting the egg and the other receiving,” she suggests.
The best bondage accessories
Want to delve into the risque world of bondage? Dr. Lurve says that “getting into some bondage is great as long as you’re both comfortable with it, and there’s so many options for BDSM toys and gadgets that you can start slowly and work your way into what you both enjoy.”
“Be patient with each other and always have open lines of communication to make sure you’re both having the best time!”
Bondage Boutique Pink Furry Handcuffs ($19.95 at Lovehoney); Bondage Boutique Seduce Me Lover's Bed Bondage Kit (was $109.95 now $76.96 at Lovehoney); and Lovehoney Black Bondage Tape ($12.95 at Lovehoney).
Briar is the Beauty Editor at BEAUTYcrew. Her 'down for anything' attitude has resulted in more than a handful of hair transformations, and she doesn't mind being used as a guinea pig for the industry's most unusual products and treatments. Her work has also appeared on Refinery29, Girlfriend and beautyheaven.